17 February, 2015. 11:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THREE BOTTOM-DRAWER universities will secretly begin offering degrees geared towards an unhappy life in the hospitality industry disguised as “soft qualifications in humanities”.
The move was prompted by the large number of Arts graduates that find themselves realistically unemployable at the end of their degree.
The University of Notre Dame, Australian Catholic University and the University of Newcastle will begin offering tertiary qualifications in mixology, bar banter and coffee science in place of archeology, anthropology and philosophy as graduates from those specific disciplines have next to no chance of being employed using their higher education.
Professor Claude Stead from the Australian Catholic University (ACU) says that the change in focus is aimed at trying to keep ACU graduates competitive in the jobs market after they graduate.
“Universities are traditionally quite opaque when it comes to this type of thing,” said Prof. Stead.
“They promise you the career you dream of. They advertise higher education as being the difference between a life of breaking shit up and throwing it in a skip and eating sushi for lunch in Martin Place,”
“We’re just trying to be more open with our students. If you study anthropology, I can guarantee that you’ll be making cappuccinos until you die.” he said.
In a recent study conducted by Universities Australia (UA), nearly 95% of university graduates are employed within 90 days of graduating.
However, the criteria UA used to describe employment were very broad.
What the study failed to take in to account was that it costs money to survive, therefore it is a complete necessity for an adult to be actively employed in the workforce – no matter what industry it is.
In June last year, hospitality trade union United Voice revealed that it’s becoming increasingly difficult for school-leavers to find work in the hospitality industry because most employers now consider a bachelor’s degree as an entry-level need.
Two fine arts graduates having to “whore themselves out” to pay an overdue electricity bill. SOURCE: United Voice.
Rachael Camberwell has worked in HR for hospitality juggernaut, Merivale, for over a decade – she says that most of the staff now have territory qualifications.
“We’re beginning to come in to line with other companies in our industry,” said Ms Camberwell.
“A degree in a fine arts, journalism or palaeontology is what we look for in our glassies,”
“Most people we have on our marketing and management teams have degrees in law or postgraduate qualifications in a completely irrelevant discipline such as astronomy.”
Assc. Professor Allen Proctor is Dean of Communications and Journalism at Bond University, in south-east Queensland.
“I whole-heartedly agree that tertiary journalism is a scam,” said Prof. Proctor.
“There shouldn’t be a piece of paper that suddenly qualifies you to be a journalist,”
“If you’re a journalism graduate that’s still having to deal with drunk people each night, then you’ve only got yourself to blame.”
With additional reporting from AAP