As several high-ranking Federal cabinet ministers are refusing to stand down over claims of unethical dealings which verge on full blown corruption, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today addressed the nation’s concerns.

Senator Bridget McKenzie is under fire for handing out $100 million worth of community sports grant program to sporting clubs in marginal electorates, as well as clubs run rich old codgers that have friends in the Liberal Party.

On top of the sports-rort saga, that saw a soccer club in Morrison’s electorate beginning renovations before the grants have even been announced, the government is also facing hurdles with the Member of Hume.

The embattled Energy and Emissions Reduction Minister Angus Taylor has refused to release documents relating to an allegedly forged document he relied on to accuse City of Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore of hypocrisy on climate change.

Mr Taylor’s office decided to release only four of 18 documents containing information about “the City of Sydney’s travel expenditure” in full.

That followed revelations water licences owned by a company Angus Taylor set up were purchased for 80 million dollars (more than double what they were estimated to be worth) by a government body.

However, Scotty from Marketing has played down these accusations of full-blown corruption.

By going on Sunrise and accusing the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population of being snowflakes about the whole massacre and smallpox shit.

“Australia Day is for everyone!” said Scotty.

“I won’t let a bunch of minorities stop me from having a barbie and a bit of beach cricket this January 26 haha”

“Let’s all come together and celebrate being Australian by having a piss up on the day that marks the beginning of the genocide in this country.”

“Everyone just needs to calm down a bit and enjoy a few Wild Yaks a catch up. It’s a bloody shame Triple M got shamed into canning the Ozzest 100,” said Scotty.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got urgent business to attend to, the Sailing Club down the road wanna re-do their bathrooms in marble so I’ve gotta sort a grant out for that.”


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