ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights sexagenarian is coming to terms this morning that the man he stoically defended around Christmas tables and dinner parties with stupid lefties could actually be the person that they claimed him to be.

Today in the Sydney Morning Elite Private School Newsletter, investigative reporter Kate McClymont detailed a number of allegations made against colourful media personality Alan Jones that allege he systematically sexually assaulted a string of young, vulnerable men and boys.

The Advocate would like to make it clear that Alan Jones strenuously denies any and all allegations made against him by Nine Entertainment Co’s newspapers.

Using a paywall blocker, local man Dennis Peiterman read the article top to bottom from the comfort of his Nick Scali while the flat white went cold on his Matt Blatt Noguchi knock off coffee table.

“No,” he said softly.

“Not Alan. I can’t believe it.”

Mr Peiterman’s mind was cast back to Christmas last year where his nephew laughed in his face when he said Alan Jones was the only one taking sense these days.

“You know about him, Uncle Dennis,” he said.

“There’s a lot of rumours about him, you know. It’ll all come out one day.”

Dennis cut him off.

“They’re jealous bullies. Professional victims. They’re just looking to get money out of him. That’s it. It’s what happens when you’re in a position like his!” he said.

It seems now that day has indeed come.

Now with that memory fresh in his mind, other times when he defended the honour of Alan Jones came flooding back to him.

“All those times I’ve argued with people about Alan, I could’ve been wrong the whole time?” he said.

“Maybe Kate [McClymont] had an axe to grind? I hope that’s the case. But if it’s true. It means they all knew and they did nothing. Everyone named in that article. They all knew and they did nothing,”

“I can’t believe it. My fucking nephew is going to be on me about it at Christmas.”

More to come.


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