INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

Right across the Australia today, white knuckles have overcome the gentle hands of erotic masseuses.

It’s believed there will also be a lot less noise in Sydney streets, after recent events appear to have greatly limited how many souped up Subaru WRXs will be roaring through the city at night.

Both the inner-city coke dealers and rub and tug specialists are now very quickly readjusting their business models, in preparation for what looks to be a rather skint 3rd quarter – after losing a valuable revenue stream.

The ‘white whale’ that has seemingly kept both industries afloat over the last 18 months, is no more. This comes after the conclusion of one of the biggest news stories in post-pandemic news cycle.

It is not yet known who will fill the void for all of the methed up Sydney coke that now has no home to go to, as the taps finally get turned off on late deliveries to seemingly never-ending day-time karaoke parties.

The nation’s deep tissues masseuses must now wait for another mining boom before they ride as high as they did when Channel Seven’s corporate credit was being trotted out around town like somebody’s personal ING saver.


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