ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large| Contact

A nice young man from our town’s French Quarter arrived at the Betoota Remienko Memorial Aerotropolis this morning ready for his flight to Brisbane but was left confused by what he saw on the boarding pass.

Because he likes living life on the edge Adam Long checked a bag. After doing so, he noticed on his Qantas boarding pass that the departure time was “TODAY” followed by a “MAYBE” which prompted him to visit the service desk.

After speaking to the over-worked and underpaid Qantas ground staff member, the 32-year-old said that’s all they can promise now.

“She was very nice. We were having a chat and some old bloke and his wife came up to the service desk to give this poor lady a piece of his mind. Honestly, we locked down the world for these people and destroyed the global economy. This is the thanks we get? We should’ve just let the superflu free up a bit of wealth. So ungrateful, they are. Anyway,” he told our reporter as they made toasted sandwiches together in the Qantas Lounge.

“So I asked the Qantas lady about the departure time and she just apologised and said that was the best they can do. That it was probably best for me to wander around the terminal until they call us to go. Not the worst outcome, it’s just a bit weird.”

Adam said he just shrugged and thanked the lady before heading through security and into the lounge.

An opportunity came to him at the top of the escalators after security.

The older gentleman who abused the Qantas Service representative was standing at the top of the escalators, in the middle, while looking at his phone which forced people to go around him.

“I could’ve just kicked him as hard as I could. Right between the shoulder blades,” said Adam.

“He wouldn’t have touched a single step before he hit the bottom. I get these intrusive thoughts all the time, man. Just the lack of spatial awareness and the entitlement just shits me,”

“So anyway, I booted him and he flew 16 feet through the air and landed at the bottom of the escalators with a bang. I just kept walking into the lounge and now I’m just waiting for the AFP to come and get me.”

More to come.

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