As the housing market cools in the face of an impending recession, even the nation’s property moguls are beginning to worry about their futures.

As undercooked real estate agents and homeloan brokers around the country begin to google carpentry apprenticeships, it seems only the tough are ready to get going.

Australian TV identity and wealth guru Mark ‘The Wizard’ Bouris, is one of those footsoldiers who plans to hold on with both hands.

This decision to run into battle with an unpredictable market has only been solidified today, after Bouris woke up this morning with an undying desire to head back out to Lakemba and embrace his Western Sydney roots.

It is believed that after an ordinary Tuesday spent on the phone to government ministers and banking executives, Bouris says he had grown tired of the risk-adverse cowardice of the trust-fund baby Eastern Suburbs teal voters.

“This can be thirsty work” said Bouris

“It has me in the mood for a good old fashioned crack”

“So I popped to Double Bay Vintage and went looking for the type of lager we used to drink in those yellowing office buildings in Western Sydney”

While perusing the aisles of his go-to bottle shop in his new stomping grounds, Bouris says he found what he was looking for.

“You heard of DrinkWest?” he says.

“Good of fashioned piss. A Western Sydney beer brewed by UFC fighters in a Western Sydney brewery”

It can be confirmed that after half a carton of the black and yellow tins, and two marinara seafood pizzas from Dominos, Bouris woke up this morning ready for war.

His first port of call of was JD Sports in Bankstown, where the Greek Silverfox had himself kitted out in the grey Kayano ASICS and Nautica trackies with a matching bummy. He then ventured to the International Airport to pick up a duty free Gucci canvas cap.

“It’s time to do it all again” says Bouris.

“And only a proper Westies can tackle this market”

“The clothes have changed since the leather jackets and flared trousers, but the attitude remains the same”



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