ERROL PARKER| Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights publican is fighting back against proposed changes to local laws regarding poker machines which could see them phased out altogether.

A new local government bylaw introduced by Mayor Keith Carton today aims to impose new taxes and levies on poker machines within the Betoota Shire Council boundaries.

In addition to that, local publicans will have to drink a pint of Mayor Carton’s urine each Thursday morning at 9am at the Council Chambers on Daroo Street.

The owner of the Betoota Heights Tavern, or the ‘Heighty Hilton’ as its colloquially referred to as, objected to the new bylaws at the council meeting this morning and was vocal on the matter out the front of the Council Chambers once the meeting was over.

“This is ridiculous!” yelled Darcy Tuckwell.

Even though Mr Tuckwell inherited most of his assets and cash from his father, he still feels as if he’s achieved everything he has based upon his own merit.

“How the bloody hell am I supposed to keep the doors open? With great drinks, food and entertainment? What fucking year is it? 1985?”

“This is bullshit! Mayor Carton would be lucky to get home tonight without getting his top cleared with a .222!”

Mayor Carton addressed the media and crowds growing at the steps of the Council Chambers a short time ago, where he said there were going to be some changes around town.

“If you can’t run a pub without poker machines, I suggest you pay a visit over to Perth. Or Adelaide and even Melbourne if you can put up with being around Victorians for longer than ten minutes,”

“See how they’ve been able to do it,”

“Also, if you come for the Carton, expect to get the whole fridge!” he said, opening his jacket wide enough to expose the two Smith & Wesson Model 29s under his shoulders.

More to come.


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