The Lord Mayor of Australia’s most southern city has shocked the nation today by calling for drastic measures to combat Hobart’s housing crisis.

Communicating with The Advocate via fax, mayor Anna Burnett explained that she wants the Spirit of Tasmania sunk.

Mayor Burnett explained that she wants the iconic cargo ferry sunk, to stop mass immigration from the north.

“I want someone to go out there with a few sticks of DynoMax Pro and blow the fucking hull off that ship,” she said.

“Obviously we could just dock the ship for a few years or turn it into an export beast, but I want to send a message to the endless stream of mainlanders pouring off the Spirit.”

“They are coming in here with their mainland cash and blowing everyone out of the market, so it’s time for us to blow them out of the market,” she said.

This comes as working-class Tasmanians continue to struggle to match cashed-up Sydneysiders and Melbournanese who are moving on to ruin someone else’s city now they’ve finished with theirs.

The influx of mainlanders has led to rapidly inflating housing prices, causing a housing bubble and a rental crisis in Hobart.

However, with little attention from mainland power brokers who are content on letting housing prices enrich the nation’s upper and upper-middle-class, the people who run the show in Hobart are threatening to deal with the situation.

“I’m calling for the Spirit to be sunk first,” said the Mayor.

“If that doesn’t work, then we have to start considering deploying the Tasmanian People’s Republic Militia to forcibly remove mainlanders from their homes.”

“And I think we all know we don’t want that.”

More to come.


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