WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Federal Government has today finally done something to combat the worsening cost of living crisis.
With more people struggling to put food on the table than ever before, calls have grown louder for the people in charge of the nation to fix ‘the greatest country on earth.’
Now, finally, the government has heeded these calls, not by forcing the ACCC to intervene in supermarket price gouging, or pulling the gas trigger mechanism to reduce power prices, or doing anything to rein in corporate profits, but by leaning into the nation’s nostalgia.
In an effort to ensure people can enjoy a meal without having to splash out big bucks, the Federal Government has announced a subsidy policy for the fabled Pizza Roundas.
Famous for being one of the go to meals in school and sporting canteens around the country, Pizza Roundas hold a soft spot in the hearts of many.
Not only where they delicious doughy pockets of ambiguous tomato sauce flavoured filling, but the Roundas often came in at sub 2 bucks.
“We think every Australian deserves the right to be able to purchase a Pizza Rounda for $1.80,” said the Prime Minister today.
“And we will be subsidising workplaces to bring back school canteen style operations.”
“Pizza Roundas are arguably the greatest innovation we’ve come up with, and it’s time to bring them back,” he said while unwrapping a perfectly wrapped disc of dough and sauce.