LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
New parents Leah and James Finbar state they are immediately trying for a second child after the birth announcement of their first child failed to get over 100 likes.
Announcing the arrival of their daughter Juniper May Finbar (0) on their respective Facebook and Instagram accounts, the couple was shocked when 24 hours later not a single post had managed to get over 100 likes.
“I can’t believe it,” chocked the new mother Leah Finbar (27) from her hospital bed.
“Nine months of pregnancy, 34 hours of labour and all I have to show for it is 53 likes, 34 heart, a wow react from my cousin Matilda and a daughter I named ‘Juniper’ because I thought it would play better with my old uni friends.”
Agreeing these results were not good enough, the Finbar’s state they will immediately start trying for another baby the next second they are alone.
“Yeah, I’m keen. I haven’t had sex in six months, this pregnancy has been hard on me too you know.” stated James Finbar (26).
Acknowledging that giving birth was an intense experience every bit as painful as she was ever told, Leah Finbar is determined to do right by her family and get a birth announcement post that gets the attention it deserves.
“Look, my vagina is in pieces but that’s not going to stop me having a kid worth the adoration of my distant relatives and ex-coworkers.”
Friends and family of the couple have stated that two days after the birth is far to soon to start trying for a second child, but James Finbar stated they should keep their opinions to themselves and like his post if they haven’t already.
“By trying again, we’re showing Juniper that we won’t be raising a quitter. She’s sad about it too, hasn’t stopped crying has she?”
In a Betoota Advocate exclusive, we can also reveal the ‘happy couple’ have big plans ready for the announcement post for their second child when it arrives in “hopefully 10 months or less.”
“Gonna have big sister Juniper holding the new little bub. If that doesn’t get at least 100 likes I’m gonna start googling orphanages near me.”
“Only joking. But seriously, if it doesn’t I don’t know what I’ll do.”