LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Bass player Don Di Bias (33) conducted a soul-crushing experiment during a performance with his ska band Es-Ska-Go when he stopped playing just to see if anyone would notice, or care.

Gearing up for a performance where 3,000 were invited and 12 replied saying the were ‘interested,’ Di Bias wanted to test how much the audience appreciated the hard work he does providing a barely audible beat for white people to attempt to move to.

During the performance of their second song “Ska (from The Lion King)” Di Bias stopped playing for 10-12 second intervals during the song, only to realise neither the audience or his band mates had seemed to notice.

“Ingrates,” spat Di Bias, getting tobacco stained saliva in his goatee.

“Let’s see how they go without me.”

Pushing the boundaries, Di Bias claims he played only the opening notes of their third song (a Culture Club cover titled Skarma Chameleon) before standing there with his hands by his side, nodding his head slightly.

When that failed to draw a reaction, Di Bias put the bass down and ate a packet of chips which seemed to draw a raucous reaction from the audience but turned out to be the audience reacting to the lead singers ironic Fresh Prince of Bel Air dance.

Irate, Di Bias left the stage entirely while his band continued to play, jumping the bar, pouring himself a schooner of vodka, stealing the contents of the tip jar and returning to the stage where he pegged the coins at the audience who paid no attention as the lead singer did his Ace Ventura impersonation.

“Morons. They think bass isn’t important, could you imagine Seinfeld without bass? It would be…less annoying.”

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