ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A popular local barman has reached out to the government this afternoon in an effort to quash their fears over re-opening the pubs.
Dennis O’Leary, a sports bar barman at Dexy’s All Nighter in the French Quarter, penned a short letter to Scott Morrison today to make sure the chief shot-caller knew a few things about the pub came a bible-thumping weirdo like him might not know.
The 39-year-old also sent a copy to this masthead, which we have published below without the swearing.
Dear Scott,
Hope you are well, hope you have not made a c**t of yourself yet like most politicians do when they have to speak publically.
I’m writing to you on behalf of all barmans when I say that we need to open the pubs because guess what, I actually enjoy going to work and seeing the regulars and the locals. Thank you for paying me $750 a week to sit on the couch. It has been fun.
But I know why you don’t want to open the pubs; it’s because of the germs. Germs are everywhere, you idiot. Including, on your own face.
Germs are even on schooner glasses. But for a brief moment, when they come out of the glass washer at work, they are not dirty at all. They have no germs on them because they are cleaned with hot water.
I also mix in some bleech sometimes to really get them shiny.
So rest your head, weary PM. If that is all that’s preventing you from opening the pubs, then now you know that secret about the glasswasher. It cleans everything (except clothes, found that out first hand)
Yours in writing,
Dennis.
The Advocate reached out to the Prime Minister’s office for comment but have yet to recieve a reply.
More to come.
