After three consecutive weeks of no drug, alcohol or violence-related misdemeanours in the National Rugby League, CEO Todd Greenberg says it’s almost like the players weren’t aware that the exhibition rounds begin in less than two months.

“It’s kind of like, in 2016 we had well and truly had a few scandals before Mitchell Pearce humped that dog”

“Maybe they’ve started taking their job a bit seriously now they’ve seen how all those grubs in the arts behave. I congratulate the young men of the NRL. They are evidently of much better moral fibre than anyone working in theatre”

“But yes, this is getting fucking weird”

Greenberg says considering all players have been resting for so long, it’s usually this time of the year that they start getting a bit antsy

“I’m surprised we haven’t had a few more house visits to be honest. Steroids aren’t even that big of a deal”

“You never know, though. We could have an ex-player on youtube punching on in the street of his hometown at any minute. But they’ve really impressed me this year”

“I know it’s only been ten days. Touch wood”

“I mean we’ve even had chairmen of clubs getting caught with rack down there in Wooloomooloo in recent years. Something is a bit off”



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