The 2nd men’s Ashes Test looks set for a significant shake up this week, after some huge changes to playing conditions.

With Australia 1-0 up after a historic win in Birmingham thanks to 2 of their 3 number 11’s firing at the back end of the innings, ground staff at the second venue have served up a rude shock.

Curators at Lords, the ‘home of cricket,’ have revealed one of the greenest looking pitches in recent memory, after reportedly dropping in a backyard cricket pitch from Barry’s house up the road.

As a result of the curated Boxing Day like pitch from a suburban back yard, the English Cricket Board have now revealed the ball for the 2nd Test will also be changed.

No longer will the match feature the famous Duke ball, with match officials set to hand out a new set of balls for the blockbuster tests.

“We’ve got a few brand new Wilson tennis balls, and are taping them up as we speak,” explained a member of the ground staff who had been given the job.

“I borrowed some of the shit cheap electrical tape that my old man uses and have got them ready to swing like a spicy middle aged couple at one of those house parties.”

It’s unknown if either of the teams will modify which bats they will use, with plastic Kanga cricket bats being floated as an option.

It’s also unknown whether the match will be able to last more than a day or two, unless the English weather does what it does best and drizzles miserably for hours on end.

More to come.


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