KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In some exciting business news for the the south coast of NSW, another quaint beach town is about to get totally fucked over by city based property investors.
Situated five hours from Sydney, the small township of Burmadulla is thankfully far enough from the harbour city that it has been able to maintain its quiet, peaceful landscape, even dodging the rash of Sydneysiders that fled south during the early stages of the pandemic.
However thanks to a feature in a Qantas magazine and work by the state government to upgrade the local airport, residents say they’re bracing for an outbreak of city-based idiots turning up on weekends to ruin their small patch of paradise.
A beachside town with two pubs and an R.S.L, locals say they can’t wait to see what a Sydney-based hospitality mogul, Franklin Hermes, is going to do with the beachfront “Fisherman’s Club”, a small boathouse which used to host a bridge tournament for retirees every Tuesday and Thursday night.
“He’ll probably knock it down and ruin the whole beach with some five story pavilion,” said local bakery owner Craig Bateman, “just wait til the corrupt council build a bypass that directs all traffic towards his resort.”
Speaking to local media this week, the Sydney based property mogul said locals had no reason to worry that the essence of their town was under threat, and that he planned to contribute significantly to local community initiatives.
“As an outsider, I can see why locals aren’t happy seeing my name buying every empty shop front in town,” admitted Mr Hermes.
“But I’m excited to employ the limited pool of local tradespeople for two months so I can rebuild the joint, and I’ll even keep some of them on for an extra day or two to stick all the QR codes on the tables and help install the robot controlled beer taps.”
“My new development will be the first waiter-free and bartender-free pub in all NSW, there’s literally nothing locals will have to do, they’ll love it!”.
