In a groundbreaking never before seen move to compensate for its aesthetically challenged appearance, the newly erected Lotus Towers in the inner South of the city has announced plans to win over disgruntled locals by offering a selection of medium tier fast-food chains on its street level, and also a metro-woolies, you know? those ones that are slightly more expensive than normal woolies.

Residents of the area were delighted to hear that their brand new apartment, which is expected to stand on it’s own without collapse for an entire decade, will also get a slightly above average Mexican chain that was founded in Australia and has zero Mexicans working in the company and a burger joint that claims to make healthy burgers.

“I mean, sure, the building looks like a stack of name brand Lego blocks, but if it means I can grab a $30 burger from downstairs it’s not all bad I guess.” Said one resident.

The decision to install medium tier chains has been hailed as a never before seen stroke of genius by the developers, who have faced relentless criticism for the poorly built eye-sore they’ve created in the neighborhood.

When asked about the new food options, the developers were at first stand off-ish, once they understood that questions would be about the food and not the structural integrity of the building their nerves were slightly eased and they were happy to talk.

“Yep they should count themselves lucky that we were able to draw these chains to the area, by the way the building is fine, my cousin got the contract for the construction and he’s a top bloke, I don’t want to hear about you journos suggesting this building isn’t up to scratch because it is and i’ve got the documentation to prove it.” Head developer, Marco Popivic (63) said defensively, despite being told three times that the questions were not about the integrity of the building.


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