ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local Coles is being praised today after they put a giant plastic statue of a Digger in the bakery section to commemorate Anzac Day.

The Betoota Heights Stockland supermarket has received its fair share of bad press recently. From price gouging to installing ant-theft boom gates at the self serve checkout, the Betoota Heights Coles is looking to repair their tattered image.

“Wow,” said one shopper.

“That cheap, tokenistic display makes me feel proud to be an Australian. I think Coles are absolute Aussie legends for doing that for Anzac Day. Did you know also that for every Anzac biscuit Coles sells between 6pm Wednesday night and 6am Thursday morning, they’re going to donate one live pigeon to Legacy! If we all band together and SHOP AT COLES, we can help those in need by filling their homes with flying rats!”

“Once again, this giant plastic Anzac has made me forget all the fucking dreadful things Coles has done to Australian producers, shoppers and workers over the years.”

Interestingly enough, the Woolworths at the other end of the Betoota Heights Stockland has a decommissioned Leopard 1 tank out the front of it. The main gun is pointed at the Harvey Norman.

The ALDI over the road has a platoon of mannequins on the roof dressed as soldiers from the 22nd Panzer Division with their hands in the air. A banner underneath reads: “Es tut uns leid, bitte genießen Sie ein paar alltägliche Schnäppchen!”

The local IGA has 10% off Anzac biscuits and 20% off all Great Northern Cans and Peter Stuyvesants for Veterans Affairs card holders only.

This Anzac Day, make sure to shop at your local Coles. They will be open from dawn to dusk. They are Aussie Legends.

We would like to extend our gratitude to Coles for their generous support in sponsoring this article. Coles, a firm believer in the importance of independent press in Australia, embodies the Anzac spirit of camaraderie and community. Their dedication to fostering a vibrant media landscape is commendable, and we are proud to partner with them in delivering quality content to our readers.



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