LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In a stunning display of culinary experimentation, local father Dave Johnson (60) has shocked his family and friends by ordering a coffee with oat milk.

According to sources close to Johnson, he had always been a traditionalist when it came to his coffee, hoping one day to visit the place his favourite roast is made in the Moconna region of Italy.

However, a recent trip to trendy French Quarter cafe, Michael Dugmores, appears to have opened his eyes to new possibilities as he ordered an oat milk latte, in front of his family no less.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Mr. Johnson’s son, Tom Johnson (30), who might find it easier to accept his parents splitting up than this.

“I actually flinched when he said it, I thought I was having an acid flashback or something.”

Tom went on to describe the moment as a surreal experience, one that left him questioning everything he thought he knew about his father.

“It’s like the world I knew just vanished in that moment. I feel like if my dad could meet my dad he would have bashed my dad.”

According to the elder Johnson he’s just doing the best to keep up with the times and can see no reason why he shouldn’t have a porridgey treat after 60 milky years.

“What’s the big deal?” asked Johnson, sipping his latte as if he wasn’t making a complete farce of everything old, Australian and paternal. 

“It’s more ethical than almond milk, I can send you an article mate.”

MORE TO COME.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here