A new report by Betoota’s peak scientific body has today identified an important societal trend. 

The report, authored by South Betoota Polytechnic’s Humanities Faculty and titled “People You Want To Be Stuck On A Fishing Charter With,” found that people who use the phrase ‘UnAustralian’ probably aren’t who you want to spend much time with. 

The comprehensive 104 page report that studied a broad cross section of the Channel Country, confirmed that people who make claims about ‘Australianess’ are actually fucking pests. 

“They are the last person you want to be caught talking to at a barbecue,” said lead researcher Brad Rozenbrook today. 

“There’s nothing worse than being told that drinking craft beer or eating veggies at a barbecue is UnAustralian, and then lectured about how ‘society is descending down a slippery slope.’” 

“If you hear someone use that word, try and find a way to vanish or disappear into thin air would be my advice.” 

Rozenbrook told The Advocate the type of patriots who bang on about this shit are likely to be set off by people who can’t drive manual cars, take pride in wearing non-sports themed clothing, enjoy seltzers and have basic levels of respect for sports referees. 

“I mean aside from being a stupidly painful topic, it’s a contextually absurd phrase,” continued Rozenbrook. 

“50% of Australians are either first or second generation immigrants, being a multicultural society is what makes Australia, Australia,” he laughed. 

“So having blokes like your uncle Rodney try and dictate what being Australian means through some lens he has, is simply delusional.” 

“The majority of us will have to go and live in some cultural exile if they want to have their way.” 

“Not very Australian if you ask me…” laughed the researcher. 


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