The market is in shock today after the overnight collapse of the price of a barrel of oil: down over 85% to just US$8.92 as markets opened this morning.

Market analysts have their own theories about what caused the sudden fall, but most agree the drastic movement can be traced to an incident at the Betoota Service Centre & Fine Art Gallery at 6:45pm last night.

According to the widely-accepted theory, an unnamed customer tore the servo guy a new one over the cost of a litre of car beer, which caused a snowball effect reaching all the way back to the Middle East.

“She just looked like a regular customer” recalled Console Operator and Fine Art Appraiser Darren “Dazza” deLaCroussier-Sandringham.

“But she arked up at me as she swiped her card. She was like ‘Youse are robbers, how do youse even sleep at night, I can’t afford to visit me own mum even if I wanted to.'”

“I was trying to calm her down; I kept telling her I was a cashier, I didn’t even control the price at the bowser, let alone the international oil market. But she kept going on and on and wouldn’t even leave until she could speak to a manager.”

“I put him on the phone and she just went berserk for at least 20 minutes. When she gave back the phone he said the price of a litre of any fuel is now 25 cents and I needed to immediately leave the console and change the numbers on the sign. I had no idea it would have such a massive flow-on effect”.

Although these snowball effects are still being analysed, the collapse of the oil market has already had major repercussions around the globe, with President Trump this morning announcing that all conflicts in the Middle East have been fully resolved and all military personnel will be recalled from active duty immediately.

Meanwhile, Darren said whilst the experience was unexpected, he found the unidentified customer’s rant “inspirational”.

“It just goes to show that an individual with a dream and determination can really make a difference, even if it just involves shouting at the guy who is responsible for pushing the eftpos machine towards you and filling up the squeegee buckets”.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here