The hysterical post-pandemic socialising continues this evening, as Australians right across the country knock off for a Friday of late-Autumn power-drinking.

In pubs and clubs right across the country, people are doing their best to cram as much living in to their night out as possible.

With this, comes the age old battle, drinking with your mates – or attempting to woo romantic interests after 6 schooners.

Except now, with the lockdowns still square in the rearview, this decision is much harder to make.

The expectations of friends are much higher, and the dating game is much more high-octane.

One fucking moron from Betoota’s northside has attempting to hedge his bets between both obligations, by merging them into the same pub.

Sitting at the front bar of the iconic Locksmith’s Sin Pit in the Old City District, Roger St-Pierre (27) has refused to acknowledge the fact that his freshly cut hair still reeks of his barber’s cologne.

The budding fleet manager from one of the town’s most reliable mid-tier work ute rental companies has today garnered a series of very warranted side-eyes from his mates.

“What are you up to mate?” asks Roger’s suspicious housemate, Daly.

“What’s going on with your hair?”

Roger appears to think very carefully about what he says next, while also attempting to appear nonchalant.

“What? Nah nothing”

“I needed a haircut and they could only fit me at 5:45 pm on a Friday”

This excuse does not land with the boys.

“What a load of shit” says his workmate, Greggy.

“It is near impossible to get an appointment at that hour. You must’ve booked it in days ago”

Roger commits to the lie.

“Nah called em today. That’s all they had”

The tense atmosphere almost erupts when Daly gets a message from his girlfriend, who has apparently linked up with that new girl Rog has been talking to, and they are coming to meet them later!!!

“What’s this?” asks Daly, after reading out the text.

“I told you I’d wrangled a night out by myself”

Roger continues with the confused look.

“Had nothing to do with me. I said maybe I’d meet them later but didn’t know they were coming here”

“Actually. I better eat something before they arrive”

“You guys want to get a feed?”

“Oi should I change shirt?? I’ve got another outfit in the car”

“Oh by the way Greggy, your missus is coming too. I just spoke to her before”


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