EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local bloke has this week put other wingmen to shame by upping his game and preparing ahead of time to ensure his mate had everything he needed to land a successful win, it’s reported.

It’s alleged the man in question, Tim Green [25] was out with his mates at Betoota Heights

oldest punk bar, The Singing Canary, when his mate was seen hitting it off with a lovely lady sporting a septum piercing. However, after a few hours of rounds of onion rings, ,the three blokes were not exactly in the perfect state to partake in some tonsil hockey.

Luckily, as the token taken mate and dad of the group, Tim has ensured that not only could he channel all of his energy into making sure every woman within a 1km radius knows his mates were 10/10, but that he was also equipped with some emergency Extra chewing gum.

Stating that his mates needed ‘all the help they can get’, Tim says he’d been the emergency pit stop a few times that night, but that he hadn’t minded one bit – in fact, he’d encouraged it.

“I’m a bit of a gum addict, so I always have some on me”, he explained to our reporter, “so my mates are always fine on that front.”

“Well, at least I was able to help Mitch out, can’t say the same for Damien.”

“Let’s just say, he could have benefited from some stain remover.”

“And an energy drink.” 

More to come.


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