RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

The Buddha has smiled down upon yet another Betoota Ponds resident who finds themselves crippled by unserviceable debts.

Philjop Jopery (32) did everything right. He worked diligently through his twenties to save money for a deposit to purchase a home in one of Betoota’s cheaper suburbs. 

Frustratingly for Jopery and his wife Jen, the 10 rate rises the RBA hit them with over the last year made it impossible to meet the basic necessities of life and service their mortgage at the same time. This led to the bank repossessing their home and selling it out from under them.  

“I was angry there for a long time,” Jopery told the Advocate from a meditative-sit position on the front lawn of his former home. He let out a loud ujjayi breath to calm his mind.

The Advocate had caught the man sitting amongst an impressive garage sale that Jen had organised. Most of their material possessions were up for grabs. Even the pair’s wedding photos which our reporter managed to purchase for $4 after haggling Jen down from $12.

Jopery explained that rage and despair had filled his days for the last 6 months. But after skimming through an old Buddhism book in amongst today’s sale items, a profound knowing had overcome him.

“None of it matters,” he said, pointing to all of his things. “Worldly possessions, the couch, the car, that house. Meaningless.”  

Worried the man was having a nervous breakdown, the Advocate enquired as to whether he wanted us to take him to Emergency.

Jopery smiled and raised his hands in prayer, his thumbs resting on the bridge of his brow, tickling his Third Eye. He inhaled deeply. “Life is a cycle of suffering and rebirth.” Exhaled. 

A neighbour who’d been hanging around the garage sale walked by. Jopery took off his watch and offered it to the man freely, kissing him on the head. “Go with God,” he whispered to him.

Jopery had achieved a state of enlightenment referred to as ‘Nirvana’. Reports are that the Betoota Ponds mechanic is only the second human to attain this state after Siddhartha Gautama, or Buddha as he was known to his mates.

An impressive feat, and perhaps the only positive news to come out of all these rate rises so far. 


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