A nervous Dad was seen tip-toeing into a West Betoota hardware store this morning, ashamed to be seen in public wearing a sparkling clean pair of runners.

Cautiously creeping into the West Betoota Mitre 10 via the nursery entrance, 52-year-old Brian Selleys was spotted sporting a new, unmarked pair of white New Balance 624 Cross Trainers.

After several years of complaints from family members, who have been actively encouraging their father to treat himself to a new pair of shoes, it appears the father of three has finally given into his children’s request to look a little less homeless.

“I don’t understand, I liked my old shoes just fine!” dismissed a flustered Mr Selleys.

“Sure they’ve seen a few winters, in fact I think I got them when I went down to Melbourne for the Commonwealth Games…”

“Yeah, had those babies since 2006 and they’ve never skipped a beat!”

Sent to the hardware store to pick up a few bags of fertiliser for a weekend of gardening, it was clear Mr Selleys appeared a little self-conscious, madly trying to protect his masculinity from other fathers wearing shoes with much more sweat and character.

The Advocate can also confirm witnessing Mr Selleys attempt to scuff his new kicks by dragging his toes across some gravel, before stopping by a trolley of Agapanthus plants to sprinkle some dirt onto the crisp white laces.

Looking longingly at a tattered old pair of Dunlop Volleys worn by a nearby bricklayer, Mr Selleys was seen letting out one final sigh, resigned to the fact it would take several months before he felt at home in his new shoes.

“Hummff, I guess I’ll just have to move on.”

“Although I don’t think my wife put them that deep in the bin so I might be able to fish them out tonight after dark…”

“Anyway, do you know where I can find some leather cleaner?”

More to come.


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