KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Bachelor is struggling to update his wardrobe today, unable to commit to buying a large online cart of clothes in an attempt to conduct a personal makeover.
Inspired by a recent dry spell in the dating department, The Advocate understands local bachelor Alex Hurley (29) has decided to take his credit card for a spin in an endeavour to restock his wardrobe with the latest trends in male fashion.
After spending numerous hours scouring his Instagram feed for some style direction and perusing an article titled “7 Ways to Dress Like Pete Davidson”, it’s believed Mr Hurley is once again stuck at a familiar junction, unable to decide what kind of fashion best suits his painfully regular frame.
“Too much linen and I look like a preppy twat that can’t change a tire, but too much-ripped denim and faded logos and I look like I’m skipping Year 10 to smoke a cone at the skatepark.”
“I just can’t get the balance right!”
With six items of drastically different colour and fabric sitting idling in his cart, Mr Hurley looked wistfully out the window, ruminating about what a potential future girlfriend would think of his drafted outfit of choice.
“Do girls still like chinos?”
“I know flannel is out but what if it’s a surfy brand like Barney Cools!?”
“Are Converse back in again or did they die a sad death with the emergence of Hillsong musos?”
Wading through image after image of chisel-jawed male models, Mr Hurley complained to our reporter that men’s fashion in 2022 had become simply too fragmented.
“All the hipsters in the French Quarter are wearing those wide-leg, stone blue jeans and tucking their shirts in again, but everytime I try that outfit I look like the President of a Rotary Club cooking a BBQ at a school fete.”
“Stuff it, I’ll just buy a new Broncos hat and some undies and be done with it!”