A local man has made an out of character move today by exhibiting some good judgement for once, it’s reported.

Pete or ‘Twenty Pint Pete’ as he’s lovingly referred to by his mates, had been unsuccessfully applying for jobs when he finally landed himself an interview.

The firm, a little known corporate cesspool that prides itself on having strong ‘family values’, would likely not take too kindly to Pete’s extracurricular activities – most of which were aired very publicly on his Instagram page.

“Yeah I thought it’d be best to put that shit on private”, says Pete, “Tina from HR doesn’t need to see a video of me sculling four pints in a row.”

“Or my collection of dank memes.”

“The less they see of the real me, the better.”

Our reporter asks Pete if he worries about fitting into the workplace considering he feels the need to hide aspects of his personality.

“Oh not at all.”

“Even though they publicly slam any sort of bad behaviour, companies like this pretty much encourage it behind closed doors.”

“How the hell do you think lawyers get through all that paperwork? Coffee? Ha”

“They might shit on poor people for taking drugs but having nose candy every weekend is absolutely fine.”

More to come.


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