EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A woman’s golden retriever boyfriend has found himself invited into a space few straight men are allowed into, after his girlfriend, Lisa’s mates deemed him easygoing enough to hear all their dirty laundry.

It’s alleged Kyle Preston [25] had been scrolling through Reels on his phone when Lisa’s friends had come bursting through the door, letting out a series of animated squawks as they all hadn’t seen each other for an entire week.

Being the polite boyfriend he was, Kyle had gotten up to greet them before heading off the court yard to give them privacy, when he was invited to join in on the wine session and give his two cents on the absolute filth he was about to hear.

“Guys you’re going to hate me but I got with Dan on the weekend”, said chronically single friend, Jen, delighting in the fact her drama always gets a big rise out of her friends.

“Jen noooo why?”

“I thought you’d blocked him?”

“Wait, why is that bad?”, asked a perplexed Kyle.

“Dan is an awful person and we hate him”, explained Lisa.

“Okay yes, but he’s so goood”, explained Jen, “the man is carrying a fucking weapon, let me tell you.”

“How big are we talking?”, asked Kyle, genuinely interested.

Holding her hands out roughly the length of a baby’s arm, Jen says, “this big and I’m not exaggerating.” 

“Yeah fuck alright”, he says, impressed, “what about you Dana, how’s Mr. Washing Machine tongue going?”

“…Haha yeah Lisa tells me everything.”

More to come.


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