After spending her lifetime studying to be a dentist, there was one thing that Sandra Bellingham couldn’t prepare her for. 

Early Monday morning, Bellingham (22) – whose recent dating history includes three situationships, all of which ended in soft ghostings – was conducting a routine check-up when she asked her client: “Do you floss?”

“I could tell as soon as he opened his mouth that he didn’t floss. He needed four fillings and there were bits of muscle chef pesto risotto stuck between his teeth. But it’s something that we’re trained to do. You still ask. You have to ask, right? You have to.”

However, the honest answer she received has thrown her life into disarray. 

“It’s just lunacy. Who does that? Who answers questions like that with sincerity?”

“I don’t know what to believe in anymore. I just want to go home stare at my phone for a while. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll see what my ex is up to. I think we could make it work. We were so young. We weren’t ready to move in together. It could work right? Right? Right???”

We asked Eldrick Wittingham, Associate Professor of Philosiphy from Charles Deakin University, to elaborate on the phenomena experienced by Bellingham. 

“The universe and its inherent nothingness is a thought that humanity is constantly at odds with.”

“In our perpetual search for meaning we cast the line and get nothing in return. The key is to imbue one’s own meaning – and that is why we create societal norms. They give us the guiderails through which we act every day in order to feel a sense of meaning. In Miss Bellingham’s case, those norms have been violated and as such her universe has crumbled.”

Matilda Dolby, a close friend of Bellingham, has reported some worrying changes in behaviour following the incident. 

“Well, she’s been sending a lot of Hasbulla content to the groupchat. She seems to have really latched onto that guy, it’s the only thing that makes her happy. Did you know he’s actually 20? Go figure.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here