ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact

For young Flight Path District couple Jayce (31) and Gwynevere (30), buying their first property was an incredible milestone.

A milestone that obliterated 10 years of hard earned savings and any possibility of recouping it for the next 25-30 years, but a milestone nonetheless. 

Due to the fact that their affordable entry point into the property market was a 1.5 bedroom with 0.5 bathrooms and an ‘outside lavatory’, the first item on the to-do list was to remortgage for renovations. 

“Nothing crazy”, sighed Gwyn, “we just wanted to repair the roofing, turn the outside toilet into a functional laundry, and maybe add a shower to the inside bathroom that my 6ft tall boyfriend can fit in, if possible” she laughed, before adding “why did they used to make showers so small?”.

It is unclear if this was rhetorical. 

However two weeks into Gwyn offering the builders/their new housemates multiple mugs of Nescafe Gold, and Jayce offering multiple points of unsolicited advice, the couple’s plans changed drastically.

After feeling queasy for a few weeks but attributing it to hot-girl IBS, Gwyn finally bit the bullet and peed on the stick that would change their lives, and Jayce’s hopes of ever standing fully upright in the shower, forever.  

It is reported that this new bundle of impending joy has caused the couple to halt renos indefinitely, as interest rates continue to rise and millennials are increasingly forced to choose between home ownership and doing it bareback. 

Asking their contractor Greg for comment, he stated “yeah we got halfway through replacing the flashing before they pulled the pin. My wife actually just had our second loveable aftermath so yeah, I feel for ‘em.”

Ever the optimist, Gwyn laughed “it’s just so funny how these things happen all at once isn’t it haha. When it rains it pours I guess!”

To which Jayce replied under his breath, “hope we have a bloody roof for that rain she’s talking about”.


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