ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Gabba curators have refused to apologise for using a section of virgin Daintree rainforest as a drop in pitch for the first Test against South Africa today in our state capital Brisbane.

Curators have told The Advocate that they’ve “painstakingly” selected a piece of rainforest to use as the pitch in a rapid departure from what cricket fans are used to seeing in the River City.

In years gone by, head curator Murray Sutter has chosen a bit of the Bruce Highway to use as a pitch. Usually selecting one of the newer parts of it up near the Sunshine Coast.

This year, Mr Sutter explained to our reporter that Cricket Australia wanted to showcase some pitch diversity.

“So I’ve delivered a green pitch. It’s actually from the Daintree,” he said.

“We had a bit of trouble with National Parks and the state department of environment and science but we got there in the end. So this pitch comes from Upper Daintree, it was a section of rainforest that was close to the road. We, uh, simply told the rangers to look the other way while we dug it up and put it on the back of a low loader,”

“Once we got it down to the Gabba, we threw a bit of urea on it and watered it in. It went off like a toad in a toaster! We’ve been mowing it every day since we got it in two months ago. You’ll notice a few plants there, too. We’ve got some idiot fruit growing at a good length. Few young blue quandongs at the popping crease,”

“We wanted to catch a cassowary and have him fielding at short leg, you know, as a sub fielder or something when Starc wants to go off for a massage. But, yeah, insurance said no.”

More to come.


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