LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

The world you grew up in is dead but not in the cool Tupac way where there is a legacy and a chance he still lives.

Current cost of living pressures (or ‘crisis’ in poor people’s terms) has meant that Australian mums can no longer afford a full kilo of mince they have no plans for and have to settle on a half kilo that they also have no plans for.

Unlike their now adult offspring, older Aussie mums have long been known for doing massive shopping trips where they buy ingredients they’re not quite sure what to do with yet, in a precursor to spicey cough style hoarding.

However, a kilo of mince is 10 bloody dollars now if you can believe it, which means mums like Leano Dohda (64) are saving money by buying just a half kilo instead and saving time by deciding what they’ll do with it later.

“What can we do with mince?” asked Dohda, on behalf of herself and all working to middle class mums aged 50+ in Australia.

“I was thinking maybe lasagne but I don’t think a half kilo is enough. I’d do nachos or burgers but we’re trying to be healthy. Plus the price of corn chips has gone up due to the corn chip shortage.”

“Please help me, I feel uninspired.”

Our reporting team then suggested spag bowl after a vague threat that Dohda’s husband would do something experimental like make a thick mince paste to spread on scones.

MORE TO COME.

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