LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A once precious bit of gossip has withered and died this week as a previously interesting office romance has ended with a boring old happy marriage.
The duo in the centre of the once hot affair are Carrol and Wayne Bradcock, who finally tied the knot and thus ended the year’s long ‘will they, won’t they’ that was the only reason most people showed up to work most days.
Initially drawing the attention of office gossip Claire Jessup back in 2015 when they each arrived late to the dinner portion of the Christmas party, Carrol and Wayne now sadly have matching rings to confirm to the world they are bumping uglies and will continue to do so until that term becomes profoundly literal.
“Jeez, you’d think they could be a bit more discreet about it,” Jessup was heard saying as the celebrant pronounced the two husband and wife.
“Well, that’s the end of that saga then. Happily ever after I suppose.”
In the time following the public heterosexual marriage, that was now a husk of the presumably illustrious and clandestine fling it allegedly was, Jessup has not even had her usual motivation to go ship a new office couple for fear it will once again end in tears of joy.
“I was thinking maybe those two male interns, you know the ones with the excotic hairstyles, well I was thinking maybe they had something going on. Turns out they do, since before they started here, they just don’t do it at work for “professional” reasons. Kids come out early these days hey? It used to be that you had to get married first then come out later, like me and my ex.”
“There’s no point anyway. You think something interesting is happening and then all that happens is two nice enough people who were meant for eachother make a public proclamation of their love while you wonder if $50 is enough for a wishing well in this day and age.”
MORE TO COME.