LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Food court patron Beatrice Olyphant (29) got more than she bargained for today as she ate her lunch in view of an adorable little baby who spent the whole time staring straight through her soul.
Although proudly child-free (mostly due to economic factors/sticking it to mum), Olyphant couldn’t help but think the baby resting in the high chair next to her was a bit adorable as it buried an unblinking gaze into her with the fury of a foe once slain in combat centuries ago.
“Aah, someone has found a friend,” said the mother of the 9-month-old, who was clearly the benefactor of the Frodo-esque peepers that seemed too big for the infant’s head.
“I think she likes you!”
According to Olyphant, the initial eye-contact with the baby was somewhat amusing, but as it continued to lock eyes with her with the unblinking intensity of a wartime clairvoyant, she slowly became put-off her sugar glazed Maccas salad.
“Did I kill it’s dog on the way here or something?” asked Olyphant, pausing to look over her shoulder to check the baby had not used it’s first steps to creep ominously towards her.
“It was staring at me like I’m the reason they are going to die fighting to death over water in a globally warmed thunderdome.”
“…but it was eating a biscuit at one point, that was pretty cute.”