EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As the nation’s favourite music festival looms near, Australian retailers have been forced to declare an emergency shortage of slightly transparent flared trousers just two weeks shy of the event.

This low supply is said to have affected many popular chain stores and online boutiques, who state that they’re now also running low on ‘bralettes and corset bustiers (both halter and the strapless kind). These items are said to be a golden staple due to the fact that they pair well with a jacket, allowing wearers to still look hot and trendy without freezing their ass off.

Retailers are said to be under immense pressure to combat these supply issues, blaming the fact that festival season saw a two year hiatus and that people are now returning to the scene with a vengeance.

Unfortunately for women attending Australia’s Coachella who haven’t already their festival outfits three months in advance with their best mate or frantically ordered their outfit from the biggest sweatshop in the world (Shein), they’ll likely have to make a bum’s rush to Glassons or Universal. 

This issue is said to affect primarily Australian women, because as usual, the nation’s men will make fuck all effort and likely just rock up wearing a Thrills shirt or some kind of tropical print button up.

More to come.

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