1 September, 2015. 10:18


Johnny Depp’s visit to the Royal North Queensland Children’s Hospital last month has sparked outrage amongst the medical fraternity and parents of sick children, as reports emerge that celebrity visits to sick children no longer have the same effect they once had. 

A recent online survey conducted by the Australian Market & Social Research Society showed that 72% of sick children are fed up with celebrities feeding their own ego by feigning concern for said children.

One concerned patient’s mother was particularly annoyed by the recent visit of Johnny Depp, feeling it was only to promote his new Pirates of the Caribbean film sequel, which is currently being filmed on the Gold Coast. 

“The movie franchise really went downhill after the Curse of the Black Pearl” she stated,

“One film was more than enough”. 

While many do recognise that visiting sick children is just a way for Hollywood stars to kill time between gruelling filming schedules in quiet coastal towns, famed Australian Neurosurgeon, Chucky Teo’o has also spoken up about this outdated ritual.

“Gone are the days of Patch Adams and Superman visiting kids, I think even a visit from Santa is pushing it,”

“Laughter is the best medicine, it’s no lie… So why the fuck would anyone want to be visited by Edward Scissorhands?”

“If you are going to bust into a burns unit, at least come as yourself. These kids want to meet Johnny Depp, not the guy that murdered his wife in The Secret Window”

CEO of Get-A-Wish Australia Henry Wells released a statement following Depp’s visit stating “all further wishes made through the Get-A-Wish foundation will prohibit celebrity visits, due to overwhelming disdain of their self-absorbedness”

“We are only thinking of the children, they have politely asked that Johnny Depp no longer visits them”


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