LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As audiences around the world tune into the confusingly named Tokyo 2020 Olympics, grandpas around Australia have swapped their golf cap for a swimming cap as they revert to being an armchair swimming expert.
From our medal tally to instantly iconic coach reactions, there is no denying Australia is a proud swimming nation perhaps best exemplified by grandpas like Gerry Croker (72) who become a self-appointed Olympic swimming expert whenever the games are on.
“Hmm, lane 3, she’s going to have to show us she really wants this,” stated Croker, whose second place freestyle relay medal from his youth sat next to his TV remote.
“Of course the real advantage is through the middle lanes so she better not hesitate on her table turns like she did in the trials. That just won’t cut it against the Americans.”
Despite watching zero swimming during the four to five years between the Summer Olympics, Croker is quick to provide commentary about elite athlete techniques which inevitably leads to some stories about the good old days.
“Dawn Fraser wasn’t even the best swimmer in the club but she earned it by swimming from Balmain to Freshwater every single day. All the blokes still refused to swim against her, that’s just how it was sadly.”
According to his granddaughter Justine, her pop’s commentary relating to his antiquated swimming techniques is mostly bearable until it comes time to discuss modern swimming discipline.
“Just do us a favour, please do not mention the shark suits around him.”
Our interview with the Crokers was forced to end after Pop overheard his granddaughter mention shark suits and began a two hour rant during which time he is reported to have not blinked once.
“THEY SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO DO THAT!”
MORE TO COME.