Local Nonna, Maria Esposito, has today got a bit more fire in her whisking elbow as she whips up the creamy polenta usually saved for special occassions.

Her fifty-year-long cold war with another elderly Italian woman at the end of the street appears to be heating up, after today’s most recent divulging of extremely sensitive information about the other nonna’s daughter’s husband.

It has never been clarified as to why the two migrant matriarchs first took a disliking to eachother, but this historically divide is believed to have originated during a dispute over a church cake sale in the late 1960s

Mrs Esposito, a 78-year-old widow from Betoota’s Flight Path District, has for years refused to discuss ‘everything she know’ about her mortal enemy – but today she has stumbled across some potentially life-ruining gossip that appears to have really made her day.

It takes roughly seven minutes of prying from her grandchildren before Maria drops the atom bomb – one that can be felt in shockwaves through landline phone calls right across the suburb.

“The daughter. Her husband” says Nonna.


“He a bad man”

Further inquiring reveals that by ‘bad man’ Nonna isn’t talking about his degenerate drinking and gambling – which is information she has offered up quite freely in the past.

“Very bad” she says, with a knowing look.

“All over town”

“That’s just what I hear”

Nonna then wraps up this explosive kitchen table exposè by telling her granddaughters that she hopes they find a man who actually respects the Catholic Church’s definition of marriage as an institution.

“Not like him”

“Ohhhh no”



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