Malcolm Turnbull’s entire security detail has been stood down today, after the Australian Federal Police learnt that the Prime Minister had been left alone for close to half an hour with Channel Nine commentator and Penrith Panthers General Manager, Phil ‘Gus’ Gould.

It is believed, while on the campaign trail in Sydney’s Western Suburbs today, Prime Minister Turnbull was approached by the husky former NSW Origin Coach and subsequently forced to watch over twenty minutes of Penrith Panthers Youtube highlights on Gus Gould’s iPhone.

“It was horrific,” Turnbull told the Advocate during the 95 minute commute back to his home electorate of Wentworth.

“I can see why they haven’t won a premiership since 2003,”

“Majority of the video was grainy footage of Gus playing in the late 70s – he kept telling me to wait for the good bit, but it didn’t get any better,”

This isn’t the first time our Prime Minister has been forced to spend time with the one-eyed microphone.

In March this year, Prime Minister Turnbull was invited to the opening of the Penrith Panthers Rugby League Academy, where he toured the grounds with Panthers Chairman David O’Neill and Gus Gould.

“It is amazing to see just what the Panthers can achieve with two hectares of poker machines in their leagues club,” Turnbull said while cutting the ribbon on the fulltime training, development and administration facility for the Panthers senior and junior squads.

However, it wasn’t until this morning had Turnbull actually watched a Penrith highlights reel.

“One thing I will say is that Peachey has got a bit of speed. But that’s about it,”

“That gentleman [Gould] could talk under wet cement,” he said over the phone to our journalists from inside his comcar on the M2.

“It was most unpleasant. All of my security detail have been stood down. This would’ve never happened if I was President!”

It is believed that the Prime Minister’s office have sought an immediate restraining order against Mr Gould, in an attempt to prevent this kind of occurence from ever happening again.

Gus Gould declined comment this afternoon, with his PA stating that he was too busy scripting the third draft to his 2019 State Of Origin pre-match monologue.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here