9 September, 2016. 10:15


The Lord Almighty has politely asked Gold Coast Titans fullback, Jarryd Hayne, to please stop recklessly making references to him ahead of tonight’s clash against the Broncos at Suncorp Stadium.

The Creator has told the former NFL Rookie-turned Fiji 7s benchwarmer that while he appreciates the outspoken loyalty, there is very little that even God himself can do when it comes to a Queensland Derby.

“Jarryd, my faithful Jarryd,” boomed His voice.

“You have proven yourself as a faithful disciple… but you know as well as anyone that my son is the coach of the Broncos and I will not be getting involved in tonight’s match,”

“Also, please stop referring to be at every given opportunity. You are in Queensland now my boy, and I gave up on that place a long time ago,”

“I have left that barren wasteland in the hands of my only son, Wayne. So please leave me out of it.”

Jarryd Hayne’s faith in the fast-food version of Christianity, the Hillsong Church, has seen him attempting to play for at least four different professional clubs in a range of different codes in a frenzy of hysterical globetrotting, fuelled by natural talent and somewhat of a God complex.

The cocky flaunting of religion has made him a target in the River City recently, with Broncos captain Sam Thaiday calling him out for his embarrassing form over the last 18 months.

“There’s no guarantee of him playing actually,’’ Thaiday said.

“He might have a dream tomorrow night and leave the game again and, I don’t know, take up water polo or something, who knows.’’



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