Local baby boomer, Francis Garvey (68) has already called the police thirteen times this weekend.

The main issue, Francis says, is that she is having trouble watching her favourite reruns of small town BBC murder mysteries with the faint thuds of a vibrant live music venue at the end of her street.

“This is not what I signed up for when I decided to retire in an inner-city terrace house” she says.

“Who do they think they are playing music at that level, on a weekend as well. It’s just feral,”

“If you want to listen to live music go to Byron bloody Bay.”

“I’m just waiting for someone to die from getting punched so we can close the place down for good!”

The term Baby boomers is used to describe people born during the demographic post–World War II baby boom, approximately between the years 1946 and 1964. This includes people who are between 51 and 70 years old in 2016.

The Australian chapter of the Baby Boomers have been under fire for attempting to turn the nation’s metropolitan suburbs and coastal towns into a ‘perpetual retirement village’. with members of Generation X and Y citing the lack of nightlife in capital cities and the Boomer-centric property bubble edging them out of the same opportunities offered to their parents.

Luckily for Mrs Garvey, and thousands of other baby boomers, the State Governments across Australia recognise her struggle.

“I guess I am lucky,” she says.

“The police shut down the party and fined the licensee over 30,000 dollars. Rightly so,”

“It’s not like when I was younger and we socialised in normal ways. Like listening to Janis Joplin and doing LSD for hours, every weekend”

“This is barbaric behaviour. They should be reprimanded. It’s just not appropriate for the inner-city”

While Garvey says it’s good to get this win over the joyful young people in her suburb – she didn’t really expect that things wouldn’t go her way.

And when it comes to securing the hysterically growth in value of her investment properties, she’s not done yet.

“Now all I’ve got to do is figure out how we are going to get them to move the Indigenous community housing down the street”

“This was not what I had in mind when I bought this place for 11,000 dollars in the eighties.”

“I am a caucasian post-war Australian. I have never made a compromise in my entire life and I’m not going to start now!”



  1. I feel Ms Garvey’s pain. As a co-resident in our inner city idyll, we DID NOT SIGN UP for hipsters either! What is it with these stupid Ned Kelly beards? They’ve been out since like 1880 man! And the Tats? Do they its art? These ‘people’ don’t deserve to be able to afford to live near me!

  2. Euthanasia laws will be introduced in all OECD countries in the nextvten years to deal with the aging baby boomer problem. Catch a cold and your in your urn.

  3. Well god dam and golly gosh….. I am turning 60 on the 28th of this month and if you want to retire in the inner city you f….. deserve to have to put up with noise, you may not have signed up for it but really now; do you lot have your heads so far up your ass’s that you think that the music and noise is going to stop FOR YOU ….and who are you to say that people with beards and tats shouldn’t be able to afford to live next to you … and your comment about Indigenous community housing …. you narrow minded horrid person …( I can say what I really think of you ) and to put that you are a Caucasian well …*#**###****#####***** Its people like you that disgust me and make my skin crawl ….. thank god not all Baby Boomers think like you and I suspect that more than just a few think not like you at all. I have friend from all ages in my life and from all walks of life and different cultures and I pride myself in that diversity and maybe if you broadened you horizons instead of watching reruns of MASH …. I could go on but no I’m going to have a listen to Ollie’s new set and Lynx just sent me a new link so Ill see what those gorgeous guys have come up with …… I’ll let you know guys what I think.

  4. Hmmn, well we never want to admit to our age but okay I am 58. I am very proud to be a baby boomer and I can still be hip.
    I sat in the valley a couple of weeks go till 1.30 am people watching, at a bar right in their front window with my husband, we had a wonderful night, watching how alive and vibrant the scene was.
    Saw no evidence of violence that night, thank goodness.
    We have n 18 1/2 year old daughter, who enjoys the Valley.
    We also have bought a unit in the nightclub precinct, and while sitting at Eleven Roof Top Bar earlier that night we discussed with the Manager about this and they said please don’t complain about the noise coming from here on Saturdays nights, and we wont, we knew where we where buying, I was young once, this is life, enjoy music. Was, not this lady young once cant she remember, or was she very boring. But some ear plugs. Lovey. Let the young be young life is too short.

  5. As a baby boomer born in ’48 and spending my youth in N.Vancouver, Canada, and in my youth participating in frequent partying on the beach, attending a few rock concerts (e.g., the Doors), hitch hiking to California, hopping freights, owning a motorcycle, climbing a suspension bridge tower in broad daylight, climbing slabs & rock walls, rappelling down buildings (our school as starters followed by a large hotel), graduating from a university (ya, more fun balanced with studies) … now I’m retired and live in a residential community. This lady’s intolerance to cultural differences and likely to diversity as well is where I would have issues with her views about noise, NK beards, etc. “who do you think they are?” well they’re the younger now generation perhaps letting off a little steam now and again – good thing!! and that they have places to do these annoying things. Give you head a shake lady and suck it up … then turn up your t.v. to view your sport of choice (footie?) and at the same time your favourite radio channel LOUD like my mother-in-law used to do, bless her heart, and create your own environment. Ya, have you heard of ear plugs (or high end light earphones)?? Tolerate the opinions and behaviors of others so that they will similarly tolerate your own.


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