The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A rather unfortunate series of events has taken place in Betoota's Old City District today. With his calendar booked out for extremely important meetings that he can't be disturbed for, Ben Wilkins has had a late cancellation. The cancellation comes in the form of a storm cloud over Brisbane's Gabba on Day 1 of the First Ashes Test...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT At age thirty-two, Betoota Heights local Lauren Gordon has finally made the plunge to get a studio apartment of her own. After a decade of renting with numerous people, including a seven-person share house where someone once shaved their pubes in the sink, Lauren was ready for her own space to call home. Which meant she could listen to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After spending the last decade stoking culture wars as the voice of the working class, both the Liberal Party and Murdoch media are today scrambling to find ways to vilify the working men and women currently taking to the streets to protest low wages and staff shortages. This comes as the corrections officers, transport workers and miscellaneous union members...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local woman has been spotted fleeing from a bloke's house tonight, as concerned onlookers note she looked frazzled and as though she'd 'seen a ghost.' It's alleged Jen Stewart had been on three very successful dates with a bloke she met at a gig a few weeks ago, quickly becoming entranced by the smooth talker who promised...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT An influencer has today absolutely reamed their idiot boyfriend, for having the audacity to propose when she hadn't had her nails done. Isabelle Hornick is a much beloved influencer from the French district, who's known for her perfect cookie-cutter lifestyle, filled with linen and many variations of the colour beige. Having everything perfectly in order, including her water facing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A reasonably reserved young man at a firm in Betoota's Old City District has shown his true colours today. Phil Hills had previsouly been looked upon as the run of the mill office man with the normal sorts of hobbies that run of the mill office men have. However, after a couple of beers at a Christmas event, the accountant...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news you probably missed because you are six schooners deep at your work Christmas Party, the Federal Opposition is committing to lowering emissions 43 per cent by 2030. It is slightly lower than the 45 per cent target the party took to the last election, but higher than the Coalition's longstanding target of 26 to 28 per cent. The...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A broke uni student has today feigned equality by attempting to look as though she planned to split the bill. It's alleged Kristie Burton had gone on her first date with a bloke she met at a house party, having exchanged some solid chat while they were both under the influence of alcohol. However, when he'd asked to meet...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT There's some worrying news for Rugby League fans today, as revelations emerge that the future of the National Rugby League could be in doubt. After somehow making it through a generational pandemic, the NRL looks to be under threat, after one of its players decided to break protocol and not leak his story to Rupert Murdoch's journalists. It's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If this stupid fucken Omicron variant wasn't enough to ruin the holidays, hundreds of Queenslander have had to leave their homes overnight amidst the ongoing flood crisis caused by rainfall records across the state. While Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk toys with the idea of another sensationalist border closure just in time to ruin the Christmas reunions of millions of families...