The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Australian Professor Akshay Venkatesh has today been awarded the Fields Medal, known as the "Nobel Prize for mathematics." Awarded once every four years to between two and four people under the age of 40, the medal is an amazing achievement for the 36-year-old, who was described as a "prodigy" and a "genius" during his teenage years in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Coles has backflipped on their policy to hand out reusable shopping bags indefinitely this morning. The news comes after the backlash the supermarket giant received for not banning single-use plastic bags in the first place was outweighed by the backlash received from Australians not ready to make the change to reusable shopping bags. However, that second wave of backlash...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After roughing out 18-months of celibacy in what his mates describe as the most brutal droughts they've ever seen, local roofer Andy Girder (23) is looking like he might be back in the game. Friends say they don't know what it is that caused Andy's brutal dry patch, but ever since he came back from a big 3-month surfing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact David "Capillary Clinton has never minded a beer. As a semi-retired fitter and turner, the 64-year-old father of 3 doesn’t drink as much as he used to, but he certainly still drinks as consistently. And after a lifetime of giving it a nudge, Roach has the nose and cheeks to prove it. The Betoota Groves local confirmed that while he does...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local boy, Ryan Madden has been called a lot of things in his 26 years of awkward social gaffes and dislocated shoulders. He's about twenty kilos overweight and hasn't kissed a girl with tongue in three years. He's never travelled overseas, except for six trips to Bali with his mates over the space of six years. His parents literally had to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local Thai restaurant has caused a stir today. The venue angered patrons for deciding to play pop song originals, rather than the random acoustic versions so common in South East Asian eating houses. The popular eating spot in the CBD was criticised by numerous locals for straying away from the tried and trusted formula. Rather than play the slow,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A meme on social media today has today proven what many across the country already knew to be true. The meme, now shared over 5,000 times on Facebook, and riddled with grammatical errors, has proven that the countries Foreign Aid contribution is directly responsible for the plight of farmers. The piece of content has blown coverage...

Despite not having watched an episode of Masterchef since Julie Goodwin and Poh were running around, groups of mates are currently placing exorbitant amounts of money on the outcome of this week’s finale based on far fetched tips off from back office staff at Ten. The Betoota Advocate has launched a surveillance project into a local group chat, and uncovered the...

A recent study jointly carried out by the Art Gallery of NSW and Australia’s peak scientific body, the CSIRO, has concluded that men with long beards believe they’re more creative than their fellow naked face men. It explains that these men, namely those who work in commercialised creative agencies, grow their beard proportionately to how creative they perceive themselves. The key...

LOUIS BURKE | CAREER | CONTACT Bright-eyed and optimistic, six-year-old Bradley Thompson has been told by his parents he can be anything he wants to be when he grows up, despite the fact it is likely he will probably be an accountant or something. With only a few years of cognitive function under his belt, Thompson aspires to one day be an astronaut and maybe...