16-Page Hens Itinerary Will Be Nowhere As Fun As Best Man’s Plan For “Golf, Maybe The Rippers?’
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTWHAT A DAY: As the big day approaches, the stark contrast between the best man's bucks itinerary and the bridesmaids' 16-page hens extravaganza is causing quite a stir.
While the guys gear up for a jam-packed day of golf, complemented by the promise of a chance encounter with some ‘rippers’.
In comparison, the bridesmaids, who diligently crafted an epic...
Jetstar Delay So Long Man Has Time To Blitz Through A Bestseller In W.H Smith
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local bloke has finally managed to tick an international bestseller off his reading list today as he waits to board a Jetstar flight to Melbourne.
Flying from Betoota Airport to Tullamarine on Jetstar’s JQ569 service, high school geography teacher Ryan Foster-Stephens told The Advocate lengthy delays inspired him to try and catch up on reading ‘A...
Bloke On New Years Health Kick Forced To Buy New Lunch Box Like He’s In Year 4 Again
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA grown man has been spotted testing the structural stability of a Bluey lunch box today as he attempts to get his health on track for 2024.
Standing in the tupperware aisle of the Big W in Betoota Heights, local project manager Levi Davis was seen perusing the selection of lunch boxes, drink bottles and insulated carry...
Woman Who Thought She Was Just Watching A Movie About Hunky Dudes Wrestling Leaves Cinema Emotionally Damaged
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who went to see the iron claw with the pure intention of watching some attractive blokes wrestle has found herself sorely regretting her decision this week, after spending the entire second half of the movie violently sobbing in her seat.
Having never heard of the tragic Von Erich family ‘curse’, Darcy Whitlock admits she had gone to...
Mounted Policeman Quietly Dreams Of The Day He Gets To Shoot Some Outlaw From Horseback Like A Real Cowboy
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local mounted policeman has spoken anonymously to The Advocate this afternoon about a secret desire he harbours to shoot an outlaw from his horse like a cowboy out on the high plains.
The constable explained that while he doesn't have a six shooter or a ten-gallon hat, he goes have a plastic Austrian-made pistol...
Girl Ruins Day By Getting Angry At Hypothetical Scenario She Constructed About Love Interest She Hasn’t Met
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some truly fucked mental gymnastics, a Betoota Heights woman has managed to fuck up her morning by indulging in a longwinded hypothetical scenario about an imaginary love interest, it’s reported.
Cara Wilson, 27, tells The Advocate that she often finds herself coming up with imaginary scenarios, but that they are usually reserved for just before bed and a...
Ikea Releases Stunning New Bachelor Themed Decor Range
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactSwedish furniture brand Ikea has been lauded for their new inclusive catalogue this week, after unveiling a bachelor themed bedroom pack for just $500.
Named ‘The Eclectic Bachelor‘, this pack is set to include just a few furniture staples such as a mattress, cheap drawers and a floor lamp, and includes bonus items the buyer can add on as...
Bored Local Dad Livens Up Trip To The Zoo By Upsetting The Chimps
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights father has been chastised today by keepers at the Santos Presents™️ Royal Betoota Zoological Park for trying to upset the chimpanzees today while taking his son around the facility.
Wavell Jones, a 33-year-old systems engineer at South Betoota Polytechnic College, was seen making faces at the chimpanzees despite signage telling patrons to...
Family Screening Of ‘Boy Swallows Universe’ Reveals That Pop Knows A Bit Too Much About Boggo Road
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A family screening of the new Netflix drama Boy Swallows Universe has potentially dug up a deeply buried family secret in one Betoota Heights household this week.
The Kenniff family had just sat down for another of the semi-autobiographical Australian TV drama, when pop revealed a little bit too much.
During the now famous prison 'break-in' scene, where the 12-year-old...
Over Zealous Airport Staff Forces All Drivers In The Departure Express Lane To Drop Roll Their Passengers
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Brisbane airport parking staff member sent drivers into a panic yesterday afternoon, by taking his job a little too seriously.
Though dropping off passengers is always a stressful experience, seeing as you’re only allowed to be in the express lane for two minutes before an angry staff member waves you on, Brisbane airport's newest recruit, Simon Moore, has...
