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“Everyone Deserves A Break I Guess” Says Small Businessman Who Hasn’t Had Day Off In 10 Years

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing stubbornly commits to not fronting the media while he enjoys the school holidays with his family in Kirribilli House, even his most die-hard supporters appear to be growing tired of having to defend his need to constantly take time off. This comes after one public appearance in the last four weeks, where the...

New South Wales Records 38 New Ca… OMG Did You See The Whales Off Coogee This Morning?!

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has fronted the media at 11am this morning to announce the horrifying news that Greater Sydney recorded 38 new locally acquired cases in the 24 hours to 8:00pm yesterday. It's the highest number of new infections the state has recorded in a 24-hour reporting since the Ruby Princess. It's a number that has caused great concern...

NSW Government Makes Another One Of Those Mistakes That Seems To Directly Benefit The Wealthy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Just like the time they allowed an infected cruiseship full of stroppy boomers to unload in the middle of Sydney's CBD against the advice of every health expert on the planet, the NSW Government has again made one of those kind of mistakes that seems to keep their my precious voters very happy. This comes as NSW Minister Brad...

PM Churns Through His Collection Of Hillsong Rock Albums To Drown Out Nation Demanding Answers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Apart from briefly popping his head up on Friday to reveal that he will be now using the term 'phases' instead of 'targets' or 'horizons' whenever discussing his bungled jab roll-out programme, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been missing in action for the best part of a month. While Premiers continue to front daily media conferences to explain to...

“Oh No Gladys! Don’t Make Us Drink Takeaway Coffee In Activewear For Another Week” Says Sydney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With small business supplements en route, the people of Sydney are doing their best to act like they are upset with today's news of an extended lockdown. NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has announced the Greater Sydney lockdown will continue for another week to give the state "the best chance of having a normal life when we exit" From 45,000 tests...

Brisbane Residents Not Even That Surprised As The Brown Snake Goes Up In Flames As Well

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT This harrowing footage of an out-of-control blaze on the surface of the Gulf of Mexico is no longer a concern, according to Mexico's state-run oil company Pemex. Over the weekend, hundreds of millions of people around the world began to consider the fact that maybe we've take it all a bit too far, as videos went viral of the...

48-year-Old Groundsman Working At Kogarah Oval Told To Keep Next Weekend Free

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THIS IS YOUR SHOT OLD BOY: A late-40s former legend of NSW bush league has been informed today that he might be getting his belated start in the NRL next week. This follows the news that the St George-Illawarra Dragons have lost an entire NRL side to suspensions and contract breaches on Saturday night, in a rugby league scandal...

Casino Company That Made A NSW Premier Ban All Non-Gambling-Related Nightlife Might Be Corrupt

One of the most influential and morally sinister industries in Australia might be engaging in a little bit of corruption in order to get what they want, it has been reported. News investigations, inquiries and Royal Commissions are popping up everywhere across Australia, as Crown Casino finally starts to get some bad press - just six years after they forced...

Local Mum Convinced That She And Zoë Foster Blake Would Actually Be Best Friends If They Met

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In between snap lockdowns and an unexpected covidbaby, young Betoota Heights mother, Dani Pixley (40) has once again found herself exploring internalised hypotheticals in which Zoë Foster Blake and Hamish come over for dinner. It's not like fandom or a celebrity crush or anything like that, she just thinks that she would probably be able to provide the type...

Jab Roll-Out Targets To Now Be Referred To As Phases After Briefly Rebranding As Horizons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After hiding out from the media for four days because everyone was trying to ask him questions that he was unable to answer without looking like an incompetent leader, Prime Minister Scott Morrison sacked up last Friday and hosted a press conference, where he mostly spoke about the State Of Origin. He then spent about four or five minutes...

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