Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local girl Angela Mathieson (21) is counting down the days until bikini weather, it has been confirmed. Her uncharacteristic 10am Instagram upload of her wearing very little in a bathroom selfie has been richoceted around social media, with both her male and female friends sending screenshots to one another. It is not yet known if this photo was taken during...

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACT As was confirmed several hours ago, US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un have pledged to work toward complete denuclearisation of the Korean peninsula while Washington committed to provide security guarantees for its old enemy. Fine. Okay. It's done. Good work, I suppose, but seriously... Are we really going to keep patting him on the back for these...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local cryptoprenuer has explained to The Advocate today why now is actually a great time to invest in digital currency. The reasonably young man who has recently moved back into his parent's house in Betoota Grove, talked our reporters through why the Cryptocurrency Market is ripe for the picking. Jordan Fotherington (24), who used to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After an undecorated junior footy career, Phillip Hard (30) has finally bitten the bullet. The young plumbing apprentice from the Golf Course Estate has today decided that it’s time to face the inevitable, and as a result has signed himself up for a refereeing course. The Dolphins clubman, who’s played a few games of reggies this...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that the Wallabies are once again a competitive force in world rugby after their 9-point win over Ireland on the weekend, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has rushed to meet with the leader of our enemy nation to build a healthy relationship before our next international match against the All Blacks on the 18th of August. "I...

After three months of organising, a group of Queenslanders have realised that the Harbour City might not have been the best place to host a bucks party. ”Bottle shops are open for like another hour” says the brainchild behind this weekend, Lee. ”We could buy s bunch of vodka and mixers and try and sneak all of us into the same...

Even though she turned 92 in April, Australia has decided that today is the Queen Of England’s birthday. And we’ve even given ourselves a public holiday, in most places except for Western Australia, even though they don’t have a holiday in England. We’ve also justified today by handing out odd kind of pointless titles to notable Australians, as a way of...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Boyfriends | CONTACT The girls have spent the best part of 3 weeks organizing a joint present for their friend, Cass, with discussions generating upwards of 100 chat notifications a day. Now, the day of Cass’s birthday, the girls are all gathering around to sign a card – a ritual that indicates the present is from all of them. After everyone signed...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Future attendees of Betoota High class of ‘98 reunion have been dealt a hard hand this week as it was confirmed by law enforcement authorities that school reunion organiser Lindsey Carter (38) is a full-on masochistic psychopath. Betoota PD uncovered plans hatched by Carter to make the twenty-year high school reunion an absolute shitfest including a plans to read...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Boyfriends | CONTACT A generally masculine and confident sounding Betoota man has today shocked his girlfriend by greeting her parents in an unusually high tone of voice. “Hi Jane, so good to see you” said Hughie, not only higher, but more timid than usual. “Rodge, how’s things?” It’s understood that Hugo maintained this fake voice for the entire dinner, only momentarily slipping up with...