Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of heavily botoxed bogans politicising the lives of people with autism to create fear around vaccinations, Star Casino have today made plans to place limit the amount of NRL players in their venue at any time. This comes as thousands of rugby league footballers begin developing high-functioning cognitive skills not often seen in blokes who run...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Territorian, Cyril Peris (33) has today been given the opportunity for a bit of skin to skin contact with his baby for the first time in weeks. .As of midday, most of the pubs, bars and restaurants are back in business under the second stage of eased restrictions in the Northern Territory. Last week, the Northern Territory's Chief Minister Michael...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As state mandated social distancing restrictions begin to ease up, new hurdles in half-normal live are beginning to show. In Victoria overnight, golf was legalised, as well as having up to ten people in an outdoor space and up to 5 people in someone's home. These same privileges look to be returned to NSW residents by Friday this week,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local isolating stadium bar operator, Gusty Spence (55), has today decided that in all of his wisdom - this coronavirus thing was never gonna be as bad as 'they' said it would. This comes after Gusty did the maths and realised that it's been two months since he began home isolating on JobKeeper, and guess what, he hasn't...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With Queensland Labor seeking a third term in power, a recent cabinet reshuffle would appear to be the last thing Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk needed right now. While the "only back Adani while visiting Clermont" faction of the Labor Party say that South Brisbane MP Jackie Trad stepping down from her departmental roles has actually put the party on...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Shelly Hendry (29) hasn’t found social distancing and the general lockdown as hard as a lot of other Australians, in fact, she says she’s happy to stay in lockdown until early June – or until Thredbo gets it’s first decent dump of snow. Shelly’s in such high spirits because unlike other Australians who are cooped up in their homes,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'staff writers' who don't like putting their names on the clickbait articles they write for Fox Sports are today salivating at the opportunity to combine two of their biggest non-stories of the year. The unconfirmed news that Mike Tyson is coming out of retirement has today merged with the pointless speculation surrounding NRL star Latrell Mitchell's match...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The National Basketball Association is being urged by both fans and non-fans to please re-implement the same dress code standards that once saw Michael Jordan wearing a skivvy with a blazer and beret in post-match press conferences. This follows the new Netflix isolation blockbuster "The Last Dance" - a new ESPN production that has introduced an entire generation...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Coach Stephen Kearney says dealing with the constant pestering from Federal MP Barnaby Joyce is just one of the many enormous challenges facing the Warriors during their "trailblazing" NRL quarantine in Tamworth. The New Zealand-based players awoke to their first full day of team isolation in Tamworth on Monday, where they will spend two weeks in lockdown after...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former AFL player turned racist TV personality Sam Newman is reportedly still making noise down in Melbourne about not being able to play golf. With 20 new COVID-19 cases in Victoria overnight, including one confirmed case in a Melbourne primary school - it is believed that a ban of golf is the biggest issue faced by Victorians right...