Politics

Report: Just Shut Up Mate. You Aren’t Helping

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Despite the the Murdoch newspapers and Sky News working their rings out to protect the Morrison government from any form of criticism, it seems that not even the manipulation of 70% of Australia's media market has been able to stop the public's very obvious shift against Scotty From Marketing. This comes as Melbourne extends their lockdown another two...

Canavan Forced To Ramp Up His Coal Miner Dress Ups After Disrespecting Our Returned Servicemen

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Senator Matt Canavan has had to rub an extra handful of soot on his face today, as he ramps up his working class man costume today, after accidentally revealing how little of a fuck he gives about anyone who wasn't raised with a silver spoon in their mouth like he was. Canavan, who was born on the Gold...

“Things Are Going To Get Worse,” Says Gladys While Addressing Her Slip In The Polls

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT During her daily dose of discomfort, NSW Premier Gladys Berijiklian provided real assurance to her state's 8+ million residents by telling them “things are going to get worse.” As the Sydney delta outbreak continues to chart over 400 new infections today, the Premier of New South Florida has been shocked to see the only decreasing metrics seem to be...

PM Rejects $300 Jab Bonus: “There’s No Cash Here. Here, There’s No Cash. Alright? Cash! No!”

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today held strong against the growing demand for a $300 jab incentive, as his bungled roll-out continues to see Australia's immunisation rates trailing last in the list of OECD nations. The Federal Opposition Leader, whose name is Anthony Albanese, has proposed the payment as a way to ramp up the jab roll-out,...

300 Bucks Or The Trolley Pole, It’s Your Call Brutha

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing continues to skirt around the big jobs today, as the Greater Sydney outbreak continues to spread right across the state. With a large wack of aged care, disability and prison workers still not vaccinated - today's case numbers have seen some really inspiring developments. Namely, a prisoner has contracted the virus in Bathurst prison from an...

Hem Hem… Less Talky, More Three Hundji

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT With nothing positive to report to the nation after 6 months of shifting jab-roll-out targets and some very concerning climate change reports being tabled by the UN, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is running out of chook feed to throw to the media. With no more Olympics to distract us from his the fact that a vast majority...

Nation Not Writing Off Possibility Of This Bloke Somehow Managing To Fuck Up Tonight’s Census

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT With our Federal Government once again tasked with rolling out a slightly logistical programme that requires clear messaging and engagement with the Australian population, there is very little confidence that things will go as smoothly. In fact, Australians say the only thing they have confidence in right now is Scotty From Marketing's ability to fuck up tonight's census. Australia's...

Scotty’s Social Circle Implodes As Elite Pedophile Cult Theories Start Looking Fairly Credible

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is reportedly loving this never-ending Sydney lockdown, because it gives him an excuse to avoid his two best mates. This comes after the news that the PM's close personal confidante and the founder of the Hillsong Church Brian Houston has been charged with concealing evidence related to the alleged child sex crimes committed...

“$300 Won’t Work” Says Party That Convinced A Generation To Have Too Many Kids With Baby Bonus

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The political party that spent 10 years paying an entire generation of parents a cash bonus of $4000 for every bun that popped out of their oven, says the idea of a jab cash incentive just doesn't make sense. The Morrison Government, which is still stacked with several architects of the infamous 'baby bonus' have been quick to...

Melbourne Unfortunately Learning The Hard Way About The Importance Of Taking Lockdown Serious

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Like many people in Melbourne, Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews is unfortunately learning the hard way that lockdowns are actually very effective at stopping the spread of community transmissions, and that it's very important to take them seriously. Yesterday, Victoria recorded 29 new active cases - today they recorded 19. After less than a week of enjoying freedom, the...

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