IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact While many in the nation with more sophisticated tax affairs have to wait until various services get back to them before they can lodge their tax return, local 17-year-old Jason Bowmore was lucky enough to get his in not long into July. He did it himself on the government's website and after he crunched the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA school’s attempt to thwart vaping has unfortunately been undermined today, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise seeing as teenagers have both a knack for being creative and love to rebel against authority. This comes as the worrying trend of vaping has grown in popularity amongst the younger demographic, who are doing exactly what their parents did twenty...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Whilst governments continue to warn about video sharing app TikTok stealing your personal data and potentially storing it in Beijing, all app users seem to think it might be worth it for the horse hoof cleaning videos. Once an activity reserved for stable boys of low birth, horse hoof cleaning is now a huge genre of video on TikTok...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A brave and selfless anti mask protester has today stepped up to save a poor defenceless animal from the shackles of a dystopian society, doing what no one else had the decency to do. Despite masks only being required on public transport or in waiting rooms, Alan Cole finds it ‘fucking stupid’ that people may choose to wear of...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds cafe has raised some eyebrows in the community this week for it’s rather niche customer demographic, which has led many people to question the sustainability of such an odd business model. Despite there being several overpriced burger joints in the area already, locals were reportedly quite keen for ‘Mr Sloppy’s’ to open, especially seeing as the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The country's First Rudeboy-In-Chief touched down in Fiji a few moments ago - just over twelve hours after he walked out of a ska gig in his Marrickville electorate. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese caught a Righteous Whiskey Sours gig last night at popular Marrickville night spot Lazy Bones, where he was seen requesting songs from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Early last year, Betoota Heights man Glenn Pogo booked a flight to Cairns for a wedding that ultimately had to be shitcanned because of the spicy cough that was going around at that time. While much of his accommodation was non-refundable (though his threats to firebomb the Cairns Pullman were passed onto authorities) the good...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Some tired old bastard on his way back from Port Douglas was seen blowing up at the Qantas Ground Staff at the Betoota Remienko Memorial Aerotropolis this afternoon because the airline somehow lost his suitcase full of beige barge arse pants. The man, Kevin Goink of Slater Avenue in Betoota Grove, said he had every...

IMRAN GAHSKORI | Sport| Contact The Australian Men's Test Cricket Team has been flogged by an innings in Sri Lanka overnight with the hosts commenting on how similar the tourist's batting collapse is to that of the host nation's government this month. Left with just under two hundred runs to make the Sri Lankans bat again, the Australians failed in that...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The defacto leader of the nation's portaloo is growing increasingly worried that his private pool could get pissed in by an angry mob if this controversy around John Barilaro doesn't go away soon. Looking at the images coming out of Sri Lanka, New South Wales Premier Dom Perrottet told this masthead that he's all...