A local girl is reevaluating the marriageability of her boyfriend today after realising that he’s a bit of a grot.

On route to doing a spin cycle class together at Elev8 fitness in Betoota Heights, The Advocate understands local primary teacher Steph Claire (28) realised that her bloke Hayden Dagwood (27) has a severe hygiene problem, and that he might not be so suitable to spend the rest of her life with.

Whilst taking a sip from her new reusable Frank Green water bottle, in a cute shade of lilac haze, Steph’s boyfriend Hayden piped up to mention how he thought it was dumb of her to spend her own hard earned money on something she’s really happy to now have in her life.

“Why’d you waste so much money on that?” asked Hayden, as pulled up to the main set of lights in town.

“How much was it, like $50 or $60 bucks?”

Dishing out a fierce side eye as she sipped on her fancy new drink bottle, Steph was quick to point out that her partner could probably do with some self reflection on his own relationship to personal hydration. 

Taking a look at the crusty Pump water bottle sitting in Hayden’s driver’s side cup holder, Steph scored a few quick points by reminding her dumb boyfriend how grotty he is.

“You’ve been drinking out of that thing for years, it’s gross!” Steph said, disgusted that she was only now realising how many times she’d seen it on his bedside table.

“Everytime you’re hungover you slobber over that thing like a guinea pig on a hot day, you’re actually feral.”

“We’re going to Kmart after this and I’m buying you a cheap knock off bottle, you’re not worth a nice one.”


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