A groundbreaking new report has today revealed some interesting facts about the potential introduction of military service in this country.

Commissioned by the CSIRO, the undervalued and under appreciated scientific body in charge, the new report has revealed that pretty much everyone under the age of 40 who is in favour of national service, looks like a 3rd grade prop for a suburban rugby club (usually associated with the school where they received an education).

The study found that 91% of people who support forcing every young person to go and spend like 2 years out in Wagga, generally look as though they’d pass out before lunch on the first day of training.

Speaking to The Advocate about the study, the lead researcher William Quaker explained that there is a direct correlation between not actually being suitable for national service and wanting it to be implemented.

“Yeah, it’s always the blokes who’d blister taking the bins out,” laughed Quaker.

“Oh, and it it’s definitely always blokes.”

When asked why Quaker thought it was this type of young man who wanted to see everyone forced to go and do two years of hard physical work and training to acclimatise them for a war that may never eventuate, he shrugged.

“They often seem quite toffy. I think it could be something passed down from their forefathers where they expect the peasants to go and train and fight while they get to go to military college and get trained in how to best tell people what to do.”

“Who knows they, maybe because they now it won’t really happen, so it allows them to pretend like they’d roll the sleeves up if they had too?”

“One for the next study I guess.”

More to come.


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